River Walk-
Don’t know where you go early in the morning when the birds are still asleep but for some reason you aren’t. Me, most days I choose a walk by the river. But first I go through the trying to go through the routine: relieving myself, adjusting the pillows to get comfortable and try to go back to sleep. But finally reality sets in and I rise.
Drawn to the kitchen I the fill the coffee pot for the first few cups and sit down to wait in the easy chair in the living room. A single task light shines whatever is underneath it. While I hear the burbling in the kitchen I foggily glance around at the stack of three or four books in process, the main news (my Bible), last Sunday’s church bulletin (unread as yet), and my phone with my music, radio streams and podcasts on it. Podcasts are skipped for now (too early). Today I pick a radio stream and head out of the house. As I leave, I can dimly hear the last of the kitchen noises (my beloved coffee is ready) and I make a detour for supply.
My partner on the journey is never late, having always been by my side. Down through the years this has periodically been frustrating to me. Loneliness from His periodic silences have confused me. Then He makes a comment and I am reassured. Once I recall again His words “I will never leave you or forsake you” though, I relax and start enjoying the day’s journey with expectation. My internal senses open as I leave self-preservation mode. Even the texture of the dust of the dirt path under my shoes as we walk is pleasurable.
The landscape varies but often we take a turn by the river, a large lazy thing that meanders through farmlands spotted by huge old trees planted between fields and outcroppings. We’ll talk and walk, with an occasional gesture in appreciation of wind or sky or plant. He says “you’re welcome”. I pressed Him one time that He never talks up all the stuff He made – that He is so non-self-focused. He replied, “look up Psalm 110” in His speech*, not giving me an answer but a path to the answer. And yep, it was there. But His answers are always somehow bigger than my questions, gently inviting me if I wish to explore in that area. Not pushy but inviting, as He knows we have all eternity if I say “not now”.
*may be dreams, visions, journaling, audible voice, inner witness, random comment from a friend, an accident, a fortuitous meeting (He loves to speak in ways that delight us – each somehow wrapped in beautiful packages that incite expectancy and wonder – I wonder what this means? Consider some of why He does this in Proverbs 25:2).
On one such walk by the river, I kept noticing people out in the river deeps. As I looked for a while, I noticed they were in the flow upstream and downstream as far as the eye could see. No one was sunbathing, splashing in the shallows, or exiting at all. I asked Him about that. He said, “you can get closer if you wish”. Gentle, inviting. So, in a few minutes one floated near the shore and waded out. I waved and he waved. Not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable, I swam to where he was and started treading water like him. We exchanged hellos. I asked where he was from and his destination. Up river and down river was the reply. I wondered if he ever got sleepy. He said yes, and usually found a floating log to put his head down for a bit. Said that logs were too slow to stay on: that everyone else would get ahead of him and he would lose out that way. Swimming is my life he said. I asked if he ever thought of stopping swimming. He looks astonished and said he would drown if he did that. I said don’t you ever get tired? He said, yes but that’s life. So, it all depends on you I said. Yep, that’s right.
The word “deja vu” came to mind. This has happened before I said to myself. But the roles were reversed. I began to recall in my past I had been a swimmer. I too had thought dry land was part of the picture but not meant as a serious option for exploration. Hey! I almost shouted with a new found appreciation for the guy in front of me. I know what you mean. Gosh, all those guys slipping past you just when you think you’ve got a great lead. It’s unfair. Exactly he replied.
Now I knew what drew my eyes out to the river. It was Him. Did I want to take this appointment or wish the swimmer to have a nice day and get back to dry land? Funny, when you begin to get one of His lessons figured out, it is He who actually is the one who starts to connect the dots for us. He invites us to move what He is trying to teach us from our head to our heart. But He normally does it by us taking a step of faith or obedience. He knows the head lesson learned will fade away. But the heart lesson, by these we overcome, all those heart lessons confirmed by experience.
Pressing past my ever present selfishness I look at Him and say a silent yes.